


Halloween Shenanigans

by Pureblood_Muggle, SAYS



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 06:42:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16470683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pureblood_Muggle/pseuds/Pureblood_Muggle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAYS/pseuds/SAYS
Summary: For Eliška - 19 year old Minerva McGonagall, already disillusioned about life and too serious by half, needs some cheering up. At least that’s what her best friend, Pomona Sprout, decreed.





	Halloween Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> Eliška, my dear, I hope I did your prompt justice Happy Halloween, my friend! And, while this isn’t a ‚songfic‘, I would recommend you read this with Doris Day’s ‚If I give my heart to you‘ in the background to begin with!

31st October 1954

Minerva McGonagall sat in her modest flat in Dalton, North London, and considered for the nth time that night to ring him. She knew she shouldn’t - it wasn’t logical - but as she sat there, tired and alone after a long shift at the Ministry’s Department of Magical Law Enforcement, she didn’t know how to switch off her aching heart. She still loved Dougal, a local farmer’s boy near her family home in Scotland, with everything she had and it hurt that she couldn’t be with him, and had to break his heart, too. 

She sipped her glass of red wine and flipped the page of the day’s Prophet while her radio played the latest Muggle songs. She wasn’t even sure what was printed in the paper. It all blurred beyond her unshed tears that she was so determined not to let fall. Minerva took an unsteady breath and blinked furiously to keep the dreaded tears at bay. There was no use crying after all. Tears wouldn’t change a single thing about any of it.

Yet the memories of their summer together, their love for each other that came like a lightning bolt, out of nowhere, came unbidden to her mind.

Sighing to herself, she reached across to the bottle and refilled her wine glass. She took a sip and savoured the flavour before swallowing, closing her eyes, and leaning back in her armchair. Doris Day’s latest crooned through the air. 

If I give my heart to you  
Will you handle it with care  
Will you always treat me tenderly  
And in every way be fair

A single tear rolled down her cheek. She didn’t bother brushing it away as the memory of Dougal proposing, her accepting, and then breaking his heart the very next day as she told him she’d had a change of heart replayed in her mind.

If I give my heart to you  
Will you give me all your love  
Will you swear that you'll be true to me  
By the light that shines above

It took her a moment to register the knock on her front door. For a moment, she considered ignoring it altogether, but since her radio wasn’t exactly quiet, it would’ve been difficult to pretend not to be home. She put her wine down, got up and twisted the knob to lower the volume. 

As she reached her front door she pulled her wand from her robe’s pocket and countered the various locking spells on her door. 

“Finally!” Pomona Sprout exclaimed as Minerva stood back to admit her best friend. “I’d nearly given up hope, my dear.” After a small pause to take in her friend’s face, she continued with an expression bordering on pity. “Oh Minnie, you and I are going to go out tonight. You need to take your mind off him.”

“Am I that transparent then?” 

Pomona simply looked at her and shook her head. Although five years Minerva’s senior, they had become good friends while at Hogwarts still. Pomona had been a Hufflepuff Prefect in her 6th year and taken the young Gryffindor under her wing when some students teased the latter about her Muggle father. Minerva’s thirst for knowledge often saw the two unlikely friends studying in the library together. 

Now, Pomona was nearly at the end of her training as Herbologist under the tutelage of Herbert Beery, who currently taught Herbology at Hogwarts, and Chervil Klee, a Herbologist and Potioneer working at St Mungo’s hospital.

She followed Minerva into her small living room.

“Oh I know it right enough, Mona, but I can’t help wondering…” Her voice trailed off with a little hitch at the end. 

“Look, I’ve told you before, I will support you with any decision. You do know you could always return and marry Dougal anyway. There are plenty Muggle-Wizard marriages that work beautifully.” She accepted a filled wine glass. “Thank you, dear. Truly, not every marriage would have to be like your own parents’.”

“Oh, I know that too but I can’t take that risk, to have him resent me maybe, or turn me away because of the magic. I couldn’t leave my magic behind, and he would not want to be anywhere aside from his parents’ farm. He lives for it.”

“I know what you need, Minnie. And sitting at home going over ‘what if’ scenarios is not it.” She held up a hand. “No, I won’t hear any arguments. You, my dear, are coming out with me tonight and we will see if we cannot take your mind off of things at least for a while. It is All Hallow’s Eve! The Muggles are celebrating, why don’t we?”

“Oh and I suppose you’d expect me to dress up?”

“No need to sound so indignant! Of course I don’t expect you to dress up, you’re quite the witch as it stands!” She deliberately sent Minnie a goading grin. “Put on your pointiest hat, don’t forget your broom, and let’s go have some fun!”

The events that unfolded in the following hours were best described as unexpected.  
Minerva, quietly bemused by her friend’s badgering, did indeed don her best pointy hat but forewent her broom with a stern ‘no’. Pomona rolled her eyes playfully but considered it a victory to see Minerva go out in all her magical finery.

Together, they left her apartment and walked around the corner to a secluded alley to apparate to the Leaky Cauldron in the centre of London. As they entered the ancient pub, they were immediately accosted by delicious smells wafting through the air, cheerful banter at the tables, loud laughter at the bar, and welcomed heat that was emitted by the enormous fireplaces on either end of the main room.

Pomona pointed out to the far side where a group of wizards and witches had evidently pushed a couple of tables together and were heartily clunking full glasses of their favourite drinks together amongst loud ‘Cheers!’ calls. Without bothering to ask whether Minerva would want to join, Pomona dragged her across to the rowdy crowd consisting of fellow Hogwarts alumni from various years and age groups. 

Minerva resigned herself to the fact that she would have to endure company for the rest of the evening. As the night went on, she begrudgingly admitted to herself that she did indeed need this. Easy banter between friends, even though she herself was a bit reserved, none of them seemed to mind that she wasn’t chatty. 

By the fourth round of drinks, Minerva decided to slow down and declined yet another Elderflower wine. The young wizard to the left of her wouldn’t have her reject the drink easily though. 

“Ah Minerva, dear, and I thought you were Scottish through and through.” 

“Aye, I am, Alastor, but-“

“Well then,” he interrupted her with a twinkle in his dark eyes, “drink up!” He held her wine glass up in front of her with a look that spoke of challenge. 

“Moody, leave the lass alone! Can’t you see she’s reached her limit!” A burly wizard with a strong Irish accent shouted across the table at them. Moody, much to everyone’s hilarity, replied with a rude hand gesture. 

Minerva, vexed that a man would dictate her drinking habit and, worse still, told her she’d had enough, took the glass off the young trainee Auror and, without breaking eye-contact with the overbearing Irish wizard, drank the wine in one go. Whistles and cheers erupted all around them. 

Pomona leaned over to her friend. “Minnie, you didn’t have to do that.” She was laughing as she said it, amazed that her straight-laced friend would do such a thing. Minerva shook her head.

“Ah ken that well enough, but curse the day I let a goon like him tell me what I can or cannae do.” Her own Scottish accent was more pronounced in her slightly inebriated state. It was then that she realised the Irish guy, whom she realised must be another trainee Auror with Alastor, was still jeering her.

“Oh, haud yer wheesht!” she muttered, audibly enough to make those closest to her burst out in laughter. 

“A toast!” shouted Pomona, getting up from her chair. “To friendship! To celebrations! To the Muggles allowing us to blend in one night a year!”

Glasses and beer tankards met in clunks and clinks across the tables, amidst loud cheers of agreement. 

For the next hour or so, conversation flowed easily with Minerva partaking more than before. It was only when she and Pomona had decided to leave that things became interesting.

Two young witches whom Minerva hadn’t met before started a loud argument. It appeared one was daring the other to go out and recite a love poem to the first stranger she met. The other vehemently refused. This got the whole group’s attention at once.

“Oh but what a fun game! We should all play!” a young wizard, whose name Minerva couldn’t remember, shouted enthusiastically. Was it John? James? Jeremy?

“Ah here, Jacob, that’s a great idea!” the first girl, the one who dared her friend, high-fived him over her friend’s head. Jacob preened in her attention. Minerva had to laugh at the poor girl’s expression of mild horror. 

Within minutes, it was decided that everyone would write down a dare on a piece of parchment, and they’d put all dares into the middle of the table, with each of them pulling out a piece when it was their turn. 

The dare, so the rules were decreed, must be carried out without delay lest the person who drew said dare would be jinxed with green hair and a squint for 24 hours after refusing.

As each participant picked their dare, they read them silently, stowed away their piece of parchment, and sat – often with shock written on their faces – in their seat. They were not to tell what the dare was, they were however to have fulfilled it by midnight and reveal what it was then, in case it wasn’t obvious.

Minerva grinned at her own dare. That would be easy, she thought to herself just as an undignified squeal cut across the table. Her eyes flew up. Jacob was frantically rubbing his right ear while shuddering visibly. The guy to his right, a rather eccentric young Healer, sat laughing in his chair, blushing all over, an embarrassed hand over his eyes. 

“Done!” he rasped through another snort of laughter, throwing his dare back onto the table. ‘At any time between now and midnight, gently lick the ear of the person to your left.’ They all cheered loudly and those nearest to him, even Jacob, clapped him on his back in congratulations.

During the next while, all sorts of shenanigans happened at their table, drawing attention from other patrons who began to clap with the rest of their group whenever a particularly effective dare had been completed – for example when Pomona had to stand on a chair and sing the Muggle song ‘That’s Amore’ in her best opera voice. 

Just before midnight, Minerva excused herself to go to the bathroom. Once she had used he facilities, she assured herself that there was nobody else around and, against better judgement after having drunk alcohol, transformed into her Animagus cat form. Then she waited for the door to open again.

Slinking back into the main room of the pub, she dodged feet easily, then rubbed herself around Pomona’s legs. Once she had her friend’s attention, the cat appeared to be winking at Pomona who laughed out loud at that, recognising Minerva’s spectacled markings. In the next moment, Minerva jumped lithely onto Jacob’s lap. He startled but appeared happy to scratch the cat’s ears. Minerva settled in his lap and purred. Pomona cried while trying not to choke on her laughter. 

“Didn’t know there were cats in the Leaky.” His hand went to scratch the cat’s tummy. He was rewarded with claws digging into his hand, her tail flicking warningly. “Oh, you divil, I better put you back outside.” 

In one swift motion, he’d taken the cat by its scruff and stood. With a few strides he reached the front door and quite literally flung the cat onto the busy London street. Back inside the pub at their table, Pomona was beside herself with laughter, filling everyone in on the fact that Jacob had just kicked Minerva to the curb.

Minerva landed gracefully on all four paws. Oh the indignity of this! Just wait until she got her paws on that goon!

She couldn’t transform back in the middle of a Muggle street, nor did she think sitting on the pavement waiting for the Leaky’s door to open was a good alternative. Her left ear twitched as she took in the noise of some late night revellers passing through Charing Cross Road.

She spotted an alleyway to the right and decided to slink into it and transform back there in relative safety of darkness. The revellers on the road began to shout at each other and Minerva hurried into the alley in order to not be caught up in their brawl that was evidently brewing.

Minerva streaked into the alley and paused besides an industrial bin, listening out for anyone coming into it from the main road. 

“GOTCHA!”

The shout surprised Minerva so much, she jumped and hissed at the intruder but found herself trapped. Well and truly trapped in a net. She growled menacingly, at her own stupidity, at his ‘animal control’ badge on his jacket, and at the utter idiocy of the whole evening. This disaster was exactly why she never normally went out and drank so much.

She considered her options: She could transform back, then obliviate the man, and face an inquiry and a ton of paperwork at work. And they would come down on her quite hard, as she’s only been in the job for a month and a half!

On the other hand, she could let herself be taken, and then hope she’d find a way of escape.

She went with the latter.

The cage she found herself unceremoniously stuffed into reeked of fear and despair. Minerva shuddered. At least she was sure to get back out of wherever they were going. She tried to stay on all four paws as to not touch too much of the filthy carrier, but the motion made her wobble too much, so she crouched and cursed Jacob because it made her feel better.

After an interminable amount of time, she was brought into a building that housed dogs and cats of all breeds and sizes. Her cage was put into a larger cage that already held several other felines. 

“Don’ even fink about runnin’ ya mangy cat,” her captor grunted while opening her carrier inside the larger confines. “Been ‘untin’ ya for a week. I always wins, in da end,” he added with satisfaction.

A telephone rang out in the back rooms somewhere and the man made his way out, carefully locking all the doors on his way. Minerva sat, surrounded by curious cats, and decided that enough was enough.

With one last look around, she transformed back into her human form and gave all the other cats there an apologetic look before taking a – regrettably – deep breath that made her gag. Then she focused her mind and, with a dainty pop disapparated to the small alley beside her apartment building. 

As she approached her front door, she spotted Pomona waiting for her already.

“Oh thank goodness, there you are!” her friend exclaimed and flung her arms around her. Bemused, Minerva briefly returned the hug, then pried Pomona off her.

“Yes, here I am. And trust me, it was not thanks to that Jacob. I need a shower.”

“But what happened? We were so sure you’d be back in as quickly as he brought you outside. Truth be told, I was looking forward to you handing him his behind,” she chuckled. 

“Oh, I will. In time. Right now, I really need a shower though. As I went to transform back in the nearby alley, I was captured by animal control. Oh it’s been quite a night for me. I will see you tomorrow for lunch?”

Before Pomona could reply, another voice called out.

“Minerva! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know it was you!” Jacob quickly walked up to them but stopped short at the look on Minerva’s face. “Truly, I’m sorry.”

“Ye bampot.” Minerva murmured quietly while flicking her wrist daintily. A little trick she’d learned at work for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. That little wrist movement was all it took for her to have her wand firmly in hand out of the concealed part of her robe’s sleeve.

Pomona’s sudden audible intake of breath must have given Jacob enough of a hint that he was in bigger trouble than he thought. He paused, unsure what to do next, his hand hovering over his own pocket, likely wondering if he ought to pull his wand or not.

“You’re in for it now,” Pomona whispered quite audibly, not without amusement. 

“Aye, so he is,” Minerva muttered, her gaze intent on Jacob. Seeing the flicker of real fear in his eyes, she smiled a smile that was as far away from friendly as possible. 

“Minerva,” he pleaded, “we found the dare note. You won. Nobody could’ve done better with that.”

Yes, Minerva thought, indeed. Her dare was made for her. She shot a dark thought in Pomona’s direction, sure that her friend was the one who had written it. Act like a cat, by crawling on the floor, rubbing your body against people’s legs. Then curl up in someone’s lap. Damned if she had acted like that in human form. Damned now that she actually acted it out in her feline form!

“I’m so sorry I booted you out of the pub.” 

Pathetic, she thought. Out loud, she spoke with a very quiet but unmistakably furious voice. “Sorry you will be.”

Wordlessly, she reacted with lightning fast swish and curl of her wand, and in Jacob’s stead stood a bedraggled looking pot-bellied pig. 

“Minerva!” Pomona sounded outraged and amused all at the same time. “Turn him back!”

“No.” She turned her back on them both and busied herself with her keys, unlocking the apartment building’s front door. 

“You can’t just leave him like this!” A piggish squeal seemed to agree with Pomona’s assessment.

“Just watch me and see if I can’t. Good night.” And without further ado, Minerva closed the door behind herself and left her friend and Jacob the pig behind.

Minerva had decided to return him to his human form the next morning, and sent a note to Pomona to inform her to keep the pig safe in the meantime. To her utter bemusement, the return note read that Pomona had already taken Jacob to St Mungo’s and that they had reversed the spell in no time but that Jacob refused to say who or when the transformation happened. 

Stretching much like a cat would, Minerva smiled in satisfaction and, for the first time in weeks, fell into a dreamless sleep that restored her fully.

The End.


End file.
